Thursday, July 12, 2007

DEPRESSION IS SO DEPRESSING!

What is there to write about? Lately all i can write about is my deep depression. In the last few days i have cried all i can cry, i have fried my brains in thinking on how i went wrong. But it's not my wrong.

Money seems to be the issue, of course that is half of Michigan these days. I was 2 mortgage payments behind and thought i could deal with it. The thing that put me right over the edge was my daughter. My lovely 11 year old daughter, threw in a bill that no one should have to deal with. I'm just going to say it was $700.00 dollars and a cell phone bill. You can piece the rest.

I don't understand why, she don't understand how much i give up for my kids. I don't get my much needed pills and insulin, because i feel feeding the kids should come first! I don't get new clothes, because i don't need to impress anyone and the kids need it more than i. The kids have more than i ever had at their age. I never had a t.v. with cable in my room. And guess what...I still don't! I had a small boom box in my bedroom...my kids have stereo systems with a 5 disc cd changer. I never had game systems....my kids have nds's, ps2's, gameboy advance's...

I hate that i feel this way...i can't trust her and i really hate that feeling! I have yelled, i have cried, i have talked to her and i have almost come close to really physically hurting her. I have punished her, she is not allowed to have any friends over all summer, she is not to be near a phone at all! ABSOLUTELY no computer. I've threatened that i would send her away.

I've prayed for guidance, patience a second job. I am starting to face that i may have to go back to work for Mcdonald's, it will give me the hours that i want to work.

just a rough time, and thought if i wrote it down i might feel better. I just want to know when life will be worth living for me?!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gsheesh--I don't even have a cell phone, let alone running up a bill with 3 digits.

Take the steps one at a time, putting one foot in front of the other.
Maybe have a yard sale with all the kids entertainment items!

The sun comes up every morning and gives everybody a new day and chance to begin again.
You are strong enough to get through this.

MrsDoF

Anonymous said...

Ya know, the phone company could make it easier for parents if there was a limit set on phones, so when the max is reached, the phone shuts off.
It's what a bank does when the account is empty.
But nnooo, there is money to be made, so the fees get added any warning.
A huge bill gets run up for unsuspecting parents to deal with at the end of a month.

Business Representatives tell parents to raise their own children and don't give parents the tools to help.

You are the third mother I have read about whose kids did this with a phone.

Makes me glad my sons pay their own bills.

Time marches on. There will come a day when you can grin about this.

MrsDoF

Anonymous said...

doggone it, it's what I get for cut and paste

it should say

fees added . WITHOUT . any warning

Dak-Ind said...

OMG, that bill is awful.

Have you heard of Cricket wireless? its who i use! the website is www.mycrisket.com and its worth a visit. i pay a flat 50 dollars per month and i receive unlimited talk time, unlimited texting (even picture texts), and unlimited internet access. there are no overages because there are no minutes. check them out and see if they have them in your area! you do have to lay out the inital cash for the phone itself, but thats usually only between one and two hundred dollars depending on how fancy of a phone you want. also, no contracts and no credit checks!
with the new girl, the teenage son, and the toddler who thinks mommys cell phone is his personal link to gramdma, i have never regretted the move to Cricket.

good luck!