Monday, December 27, 2004


For those that are following along about my mother, this is day 29. I missed her horribly for Christmas, nothing felt right! I tried to make everything as she would have. I even tried making her special stuffed cabbages, i have to say that they did turn out pretty good. I had never tried it by myself before.

I recorded the grandkids opening their presents from them so that she will see what their expressions were when she does come home. The kids could not believe what they did get. Most of it was purchased before my mom had gotten ill. Some i picked up for my father. I took one day and worked on wrapping everything for my father.

My husband came up to me and told me that my Sister had come up to him and thanked him for all the help with my mother. I know i don't talk much about my sister and with good reason, we just don't get along! But after he told me that, i could not believe it! Thanking him????? I'm the one that has bent over backwards! Running errands for my father, wrapping all the presents, cooking Christmas dinner for her and her family and mine, and for dad. I even helped out by making and sending all of my mother and father's christmas cards. I can tell ya that not one Thank You to me from her has been said!!! Do i sound bitter? Good! Anyways!
Well after the presents had been opened it was time for dinner. My mother has a pot that must not have the ability to cook. We put the potatoes on at 4 in the afternoon and at 6 they still were not able to eat. So while we stuffed ourselves with stuffed cabbage i transferred the potatoes into another pot and within 15 minutes they were ready. By then noone wanted any. It trully was funny, guess you had to be there.

After dinner i made a plate for my mother and took it to her with her gifts in tow. I let her open the kids presents to her which was a cute little ring that will have to be put on a chain cuz its too small and a pendant that says #1 grandma. Now that christmas is over and she has her present i can tell you what i got her. I searched all over for a ring that says MOM across it. The letters are made up of diamond chips. It's really sparklely. She was excited about that present.

After all that, mom was ready to try my stuffed cabbage. Mind you that my mother has not been tolerating food these days. So she took a few bites and told me that it was really good. After a couple more bites my mother ended up throwing it up all over herself. She was more upset about throwing it up then i was. She kept stating "it was really good" "i'm sorry" "my stomach can't handle food right now." I knew it was going to be iffy before hand so i was not upset. She just wanted to reassure me that it was not because that they were bad.

Today they moved my mother to a nursing home for the remainder of her treatment. The nursing home is closer to our house, which is great of course. If mom really can't stand it there she could literally walk home. My mother in her younger days had worked for that nursing home. She was nervous about going there because of that reason. She remembers nurses not being very nice over there. I hope that will not be the case. I was not able to get there tonight, but my father assured me that she had a really nice lady nurse. I was going to visit but i had heard that my Aunt and my Sister and her family had gone up there. I just did not want to bumbard her. I had visited her before she got transfered to the nursing home earlier in the day.

Well that's the scoop for now. Take care all and if i don't get on here before New Year's ...You all have a great and safe one!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


Well after the doctors telling my mother that she will probably be home before the holidays we just got news that will not be the case. In fact they are talking another 4 weeks of agrressive therapy for her fluid on the lungs and the infection in her blood. The doctor said that both of these things could kill her if she was let out early. So we sit and wait to hear about what they are going to do next. My dad don't know what to do without my mother at the house. He depends on me to do alot for him. I don't mind, but i do get tired. Plus i must have caught a bug somewhere, I have not been feeling well. I left work early yesterday, but today i have to stay and put up with it. TAKE CARE ALL and if i don't get to write before the holidays MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

21 days or 3 weeks, however you wanna look at it.

Poor mom has been in the hospital that long! She's getting better and hopefully will be out before christmas. This is all that we can hope for! If she is not out we will have to celebrate when she does come home. She still had water on the lungs that's why she is still in the hospital. Her back really was hurting her from laying in the bed for so long. The doctors are really trying to make her comfortable. The nurses seem to be very nice and have tried really hard to help my mother.

Thursday I decided to visit my mother in the afternoon so that i could stay home and wrap some christmas presents. While i had presents scattered all over my living room floor, my phone rang , i listened to see who was calling. (those that know me, know that i won't answer the phone till i know who's calling) (damn telemarketers, bill collectors) So no one left a message or talked. My cell phone battery died, i was not aware of that either. So when my neighbor called my house and said pick up, i did not think much.

May(my neighbor) says "you better go to the school, they just called me!" I said "why? no one called here." She said "they had been trying to get ahold of you but could not". She says "apparently your daughter decided to bring a baby mouse to school". I said "She did what?" She told me again, and then said they need you to go and pick it up or tell them what to do with it. So i go running up to the school, all embarrassed that my daughter would do this.

I got in the office and there were a couple ladies standing there and my daughter was in there crying. (from being sent to the office) According to the ladies Amber said she found the mouse at the school the day before and that we said she could keep it. According to her daddy, (my husband) says she found it in one of her cages. Apparently one of the cave mice had a baby. Well she brought it into school and was feeding it milk from a syringe that we use to give my dogs their medicine.

The worst part about it, i knew she was up to something that particular morning. She was extra nice that morning. She is never like that! It was yes mother, ok mother, right away mother. So when i found out that she had done that, I put 2 and 2 together and everything that morning started to make sense. GOOD OLD FASHION MOTHERS INSTINCT! Just could not put my finger on it at the time.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

I Need More of me to go around

This is officially moms 18th day in the hospital. She went through hell! She seems to be getting better, but she is not able to move due to her back. Some how she pulled a muscle in her back and is in alot of pain.
I have been to the hospital everyday but 2 and that was because of work. Everyone is counting on me and i never want to let them down. Sometimes i want to cry because of all the stress that i am under, not all of it has to do with my mom. Money is a major factor to my stress, my bills are not getting paid like they should be. Christmas presents are my next stress. All of my family, Frank, Darin, Amber need glasses. Frank reuined his glasses and needs them for driving in case he gets pulled over. Darin's glasses work but his head must have gotten bigger because they look like they are getting tight. Amber did not pass her school exam, so i need to have her looked at. I'm looking at least $300.00 in that alone! I worry and worry and worry! On top of everything else, i have to take care of my house, mom's house, my kids, my husband,and help my dad with normal everyday things, and work a fulltime job. Don't get me started about the stress that i am under there!
Just had to vent a little to get it off my chest. I'm going to bed!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

The Best 3 letter Word is "MOM"

Mom has been thru alot in the past 11 days. Good news is she is getting better, bad news is she has a whole lot going on with her body. Eleven doctors evaluate her everyday. She has blood doctors, liver doctors, heart doctors, infectious desease doctors, the whole nine yards. You can basicly say that half the hospital is working on my mom.

Mom has a blood infection, a fungus in her blood, hepatitis c, emphasyma, urinary tract infection, lung infection, fluid on her lungs. And they are testing her to find out why her blood cells that fight infection are not multiplying.

But thru it all she has been very couragous thru test after test after test. Only really complaining about the food they send her. Today i snuck in some goodies for her, her favorite jello's and puddings and some cashews.

Mom is black and blue all over her body, she has more holes then a collander! But everyday i see her she improves a bit. I really hope that she will be out before Christmas! It won't feel like Christmas without her!

Alot of people have been asking how i am doing. I think i have already been thru my nervous breakdown. Just the mere thought of her would send me into tears. But I am exhausted.
My day starts off by waking my kids for school, while they are eating and dressing i am cleaning my house. I vacuum, feed the animals, let the dogs out, take a shower, take the kids to school. When i come back i finish anything else that i did not get done. Then i go see my mother and spend a few hours with her. Leave the hospital and go to my moms house and check the house out for my dad, i vacuum, do the dishes, laundry, let his dog out. Not that it needs a whole lot, but i just don't want it to get nasty over there. Dad does not normally work on things like that. But i have to say that he is keeping it neat!

Then i leave there and come home to start dinner, pick up the kids, do homework with the kids, eat dinner and then get to go work my 8 hours! I'm exhausted just typing this!
But to answer your am i? I'm better than some and worse than others. I love that saying and sticking to it!
Thanks to all for their kind comments!

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Just a Saturday

I feel really bad today because i did not go see my mother at the hospital for the first time this week. I had to get some sleep because i had not been able to get any all week. When i got up i looked at my house and about screamed. Those that know me know that i am a neatness freak, theres a place for everything and everything in it's place. But because i had been at the hospital all week I had let things slide a bit.
When i got up me and my hubby started cleaning up the mess. By then it was time for me to go to work. When i got off visiting hours were over.
Yesterday I was off and between visits to the hospital me and my hubby managed to put up our christmas tree. It turned out really nice! About 5 strands of multicolored lights on the thing! Lots and Lots of red garland, topped off with gold and silver beads. With all of our ornaments that we have been collecting throughout the years...eventually it will be covered in memories of christmases past. I want everthing on it to mean something. We buy those ornaments that you engrave your name and year on, or those ornaments that the kids make throughout the year are decorating my tree. Every year it's the kids job to decorate the tree with the ornaments after i put on the lights and garland and beads. It's great to watch their face when they see Darin and the year and say i was 2 then. Or they say they remember picking that out. Amber separates them and investigates each one. Showing me as if i had never seen them before. "Remember this mom?" she says. Kids are the greatest!

Friday, December 03, 2004

Update on my Mom!

It's been a full week and my mother is nowhere near coming home any time soon. Everyday it's some kind of bad news! She had a severe urinary tract infection, her diabetes is all out of whack and Now they think that she has Hepatitis C. That has not been confirmed, because of the meds and infection it could be a false positive. I pray that she don't have that. Then they say that she has a yeast infection in her blood.

What scares me the most that after a week her breathing has improved some, but not enough to make me feel like she is alright. The doctors say she is going to be fine. But to look at her its still scary.

My husband came with me tonight to the hospital, it's the first time since we admitted her to the hospital that he was able to go. He even says she doesn't look good! The breathing was scaring him also.

Today she was hallucinating things. Like she said that we were in a hospital room that had many people inside it, but the room was a semi private..her and one other in the room. The other day my dad said that she saw a carousel outside her window. I hope this is the pain drugs that is doing that.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and prayers.