Friday, July 25, 2008

MY MYSTERIES edited and added

1. The never ending sock mystery...You wash them, you dry them, but to mate them there is always one sock that goes to sock

2. I don't know how or why, but i am missing plates! I don't know if the kids are breaking them and throwing them away without telling me... I used to have alot.

3. My towels, where in the world did all my towels go?

4. How in the world does dust collect on a ceiling fan that is in constant motion?

5. How can my daughter stand her bedroom being so messy. It's not horrible...but i like things in their place. I've seen worse...My neighbor's girl puts plates with food under her bed and in her dressers...So i guess i am lucky, Amber knows I would freak out if I ever saw that.

6. Why my son prefers boxer's over briefs?

7. Ok...this sounds stupid...(not like i haven't said stupid things before) Why do my little boy dogs get horny with my big dog? She has never been in heat her whole life! They don't know what they are doing but insist on you saw it, it would be more funny.

Well that's just a few of the mysteries that i think about when i am bored. Looking at them...I think...I NEED A LIFE!! LOL

Thanks Eileen for reminding me
8. Spoons...where do they go? I've bought spoons 3 times in the past year...what the?

Just after work I got this email that made me ponder these questions also.

If one has sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Weird that this email came on the same day i posted this


Anonymous said...

Those are all excellent questions...

1> Remember sniglets? they had a sniglet... Hozone... it's the place where 1 sock goes when put into the dryer.

2> Caught the daughter trying to throw away a broken plate without us knowing the other day. Then I remembered when I was a kid while washing dishes I'd sometimes "accidentally" break a dish to keep from having to wash it... as if cleaning up the broken dish was easier than washing it.

3> Check the trees... oh wait that's just my kids isn't it?

4> Uhhh... ok... that one has me truly stumped.

5> We'll send our 5yr old son into his room to clean in... instead of cleaning it he'll go to sleep. Argh.

6> He's a smart boy... briefs are just... I dunno... I prefer boxer-briefs personally...

7> My dog is fixed, yet still tries to hump things. Crazy thing. wait... I'm fixed and I still want to have sex... maybe not so crazy...

Anonymous said...

Good questions. I wonder about some of them myself. Especially about the socks, I get so frustrated!!

I am currently missing spoons. How can you loose spoons? I suspect my girls have something to do with it.

Funny post!

Team Gherkin said...

I bought myself half-a-dozen tea spoons just this week, for exactly the same reason! hahahahahaaa.

Diane said...

My son wears boxers when he is sitting in his college classes, something about where the hem is on the back of his thigh.
He wears tighty whitey briefs for jogging.

I once bought a lovely pair of teal color socks, wore them once, made sure they both went into the washer at the same time, yet when I put that load into the dryer, there was only one sock.
A month later, it was time to service the machine, so I made a special request of the repairman to check all over for a teal green sock.
It was nowhere to be found.
Sock thiefs are all over.


Anonymous said...

As for Number 8...

check 1 of two places...

either outside by the swingset or in between the cushions in the couch.

Diane: You can't wear boxers while jogging... you gotta wear something to keep them from moving around... like, would you go running without a bra? Same principle.

Karmyn R said...

socks - I have discovered that those cute little baby socks disappear at a faster rate. So - there must be some law that states: The larger the sock, the slower its loss.

Towels - ask your husband. Mine always end up in the garage, his car (for who knows what reason), or the shed.

Spoons - I misplaced my wedding ring once and in a frenzy I was checking the big garbage can and found TWO spoons in the kitchen garbage sack. Yes - TWO!!! I think my kids are throwing them away.

There - I hope I may have solved some of your problems today. hahahaha

(oh - and the dogs humping? I think it is them trying to show dominance. My male does it to my female too, but only when he wants her fetchtoy)

Dak-Ind said...

1) i think your extra socks might be at my house... i seem to have a few single socks that i KNOW i didnt buy as a pair...

2) same with plates. i have a wonderful set of clear glass plates. then i have like 5 "other" plates that i have no idea where came from, but work well in my microwave :P

3) my towels went to the garage where my husband leaves them after drying the car off... check there!

4) i wonder if ceiling fans are coated in the same stuff as toddlers? indy seems to have a constant sheen of dirt dust and'or grime, even when first emerging from the bath!

5)meh... im like your daughter... thats my room, the one noone sees, so screw cleaning it, i have to do the whole rest of the house.

6) i like boxers on my teenage son... he wanders the house in his undies and i dont want to see his package.

7) i think its just a boy thing, regardless of species (except maybe praying mantis's... see Hoss's blog)

8) yeah, someone else stole the spooons, i have like 3. they just wander away in the night.

Amber said...

Luckily I only have one other person to monitor when keeping my utensils together, and I know the only 2 places they'll end up if not in the sink: by the computer or by the TV. As for the bedroom, I used to live like that because I was just too busy doing other things to bother with the room I only used for sleeping anyhow! Now that I spend much more time in there I need it clean to maintain my sanity.

Dak-Ind said...

the big metal thing is actually for people in wheel chairs, so they too can bowl... we just use it for the kid otherwise we wait like hours for his ball to roll slowly to the end, lol