WHY?

On Thanksgiving day we got up early to go to the parade downtown, the parade was excellent! It get better every year. After the parade we rushed over to my mothers to help with dinner, when we got there my mother was sleeping. When she realized we were there she got up and went to the kitchen to help with the fixings. She did not act right or sound like my mother, but she said that she was tired. Me and my husband finished preparing dinner and my mother went back to relax.
I kept asking her if she was alright, she would just say i am tired. I just figured she was coming down with something, especially after she threw up her dinner. Thursday came and went and i let my mother sleep. Friday i called her and she sounded better than she had, but she still was sleeping the day away. I went over and felt her forehead, she did have a fever. So i took it as the flu, seeing how she threw up the day before, made her take some aspirins and sent her off to bed. Saturday i had the day off work and i told myself that when i woke up i was going over to her house and if i did not like what i saw she was going to the doctors. Wouldn't you know that she called me before i even woke up and asked me to take her to the doctors. The doctor went back and forth about sending her to the hospital, but i pretty much made his mind up for him. I told him that she is not right and there is something wrong and i would rather not have to wait a few days to find out what was wrong.
So off to emergency we went and in a very short time we found out that she has a severe urinary tract infection that was causing her fever. But some other stuff they found out was that because she was sick she was still taking her pills and she was not eating which made her sugar drop to 30. I overheard a nurse that usually at 30 most patients go into a diabetic coma. That scared me to death! But what scared me more is the way she has been breathing. If i had to attempt to breath like her i would hyper ventalate! She was admitted to the hospital on Saturday and on Sunday i called her to see if everything was fine. She assured me everything was fine, so i went off and did some things around my house and spent some time with my kids because i had been gone the whole day at the hospital on my day off.
Well today Monday, i dropped off my kids to school and went straight to the room i had left her only to find out that they moved her during the night. I thought this was a good thing till i got on the floor and they said that she was in the ICU of the hospital due to her breathing had gotten worse and she was struggling for air. When i seen her it was too scary for words! She was still struggling for a breath. She looked at me like she did not want to take this anymore. I just tried to reassure her everything would be fine.
The doctors came in and said that they took a chest xray and that she has chronic emphasyma and that they were going to play with her breathing treatments till they found something that works. When i left to check out my household and feed the kids, also to go and have a good cry from what i had saw. I couldn't cry in front of her like things were hopeless. When i got back later in the evening I found her in better spirits. She was still struggling with breathing but not as bad. I am hoping that even better news will follow! I am hoping that tomorrow will bring her back to talking again!
I love my mother with all my heart and the thought of losing her is killing me! Three times in one year we have had one thing after another happen with my mother. Last July she was diagnosed with flesh eating disease in her private area. Then her stroke in May of this year. And now this!
My mother does not deserve what is happening to her! She is the sweetest, kindest, would help you with anything in her reach kind of woman! My mother has done many things to help me and my sister when we needed it! I just want to know WHY, WHY HER? I bet there is many people out there that ask the same question when trials and tribulations happen in there family!
I know i have written about my heart attack and what other trials i went thru during that month. Is there anyone out there that has gone thru such turmoil that would like to share? And how did you get thru it?

challenges answered

1. a movie - Lawrence of Arabia (1962) - Peter O'Toole's eyes, those scenes that make you thirsty just watching them...
2. a book - "The Far Road", George Johnston 1962. A novel set amongst the horrific side-affects of war in China.
3. a musical artist, song, or album - "Black Sea" album by XTC (1980).
Three questions? Hmmmm.....
.i) How did you first find out about 'blogging'? I had heard of live journals...but i actually started when mom started to do it. She started a few and i said maybe i should it would be a way to vent or tell my story.
iiWhat does your favourite colour remind you of?I don't really have a favorite color I usually buy black or darker colors cuz i have a nak for getting things dirty..lol
iii) Why do you like living in the community where you do? I live her cuz i am very comfortable with my surroundings, I have traveled to alot of places and always find myself wanting to go back home. I love having 4 seasons. But I really like spring and fall because its not to hot and not to cold.

challenge

A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album
(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.
(C) Then I want you to go to your blog/journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything & say that you stole it from me

I stole this from Mal...tee hee!

Too Young to have a heart attack!

Back in January of 2003 i was having a very stressful month! I had just went to court for a ticket that i should not have had to pay...had i been armed with a camera at the time it would have been dismissed. But anyways, wouldn't you know that i got called to jury duty! I had to do that in the morning, and work in the evenings. Well just after i finished jury duty which i believe was January 10th, i started having a weird feeling like someone was strangling me, and my left arm would go numb. I did not think anything about i just rested and dealt with the pain. Jan. 11th was the same feeling, and i got scared, went to my mothers to get my blood pressure cuff that i had recieved while pregnant with Amber. I took my blood pressure and it was 180 over 110. This concerned me...but yet i thought maybe my blood pressure medicine just needed to be highered. So on the 3rd day Jan. 12, I called and left a message to my doctor that i was concerned about my blood pressure and wanted to talk to him.
I recieved no phone call and i was still having pain! So the next morning Jan. 14th i called the office again and i said look this is whats happening and I'm scared! She put me on hold for a moment and then came back and said come up here immediately! I went up there and they hooked me up to a machine that checks your heart, and immediately the doctor came in and said she found some abnormalities and said i needed to go to emergency!

When i got to emergency things happened really fast. Hooked me up to all kinds of things. But nobody was saying anything, but they gave me alot of attention. They put me in a room for the night to monitor me and said that i would be going to a stress test in the morning, but if i was to get the pains again to call a nurse. Well about 5 in the morning i got up to go to the bathroom and on the way back to my bed i had the worst pain that i had in all 4 days! I called the nurse and i told her that the pains were there and she came in with the blood pressure cuff and it read 210 over 120 then she popped me a nitro pill and yet another. Finally the pain went away, and i asked her wonder how come it took so long for the pain to come...and that's because they had been putting nitro patches on my legs and i never even new that! Well the doctor came in shortly after that and said no stress test, he thought that would have killed me on the spot! So i went straight for a catherization(i hope i got that close) they put a device up my leg and into my heart while shooting dye in my heart you could see it all on a monitor. At first they saw nothing, till they went to the Left Anterior Descending Artery and said that i had a 95% blockage. I was dumbfounded! 33 years old and i was having a heart attack! The doctor said that Artery was called the Widow maker, had that blown i would be dead! There would have been no saving me. She guesses that within a day or 2 i would have been gone.


Well they sent me to another hospital with more capabilities, and fixed the artery with angioplasty and a stent. It's been almost 2 years now and I feel pretty good! I passed my stress test back in June. (this is my birthday present to myself every year)

So not only did i have court, jury duty, heart attack, in one month! you would think that would be enough! I came home to someone called on me about my dog, (something i was going to take care of) but just waiting for a little money come my way. On the same day my drains decided to back up and i had to pay for a plumber to come and snake the drains. My greatest aunt in the whole world helped me thru all that hardship when i needed her. Then my van's transmission broke down, but thankfully that was covered under warrantee!

So this is what happened to me one horrible January "2003"

MY BOY

He graduated his DARE program today. I of course was heavily armed with video camera and put my husband on the photo camera. He did great with his speech, i was very impressed because he was so nervous, and wouldn't you figure that he was the first to read his speech. His speech included a segment where he mentions my heart attack, and his grandmother's stroke, due to the effects of smoking. I looked at my mother and saw her crying. (I have to admit i had steamy eyes during that part) .

For being the Winner of the DARE essay he recieved all kinds of prizes. He got a tote bag, 2 shirts(one long sleeve and one short sleeve), a pen, hat, cup, football, a pretty neat watch, and a certificate. Someone told me to save his certificate because he might be able to get a discount or something for tuition to college. Not sure about that..something to look into.

It was a great day for my son..and I'm awful proud!

GETTING EXCITED!

Just sitting here thinking about the holidays. Frank and I have a tradition that every Thanksgiving we take the kids to the Detroit parade. We get up around 5:30 so that we can leave by 6:30 to hold a spot up front! It is well worth going to, and kinda sets your minds to the up coming holidays. The kids adore the huge balloons, and shout out SPIN IT, SPIN IT! They like when the balloon holders do that. They LOVE when floats throw out stuff to the kids.

After the parade we go to my mother's and father's house for a huge dinner! Mom does the works for Thanksgiving. Normally she can do most of it herself, but this year me and my sister are going over the day before and get alot of the preparation done for her, since she has a hard time because of the stroke. I would do it here at my house but my house is way to small to entertain so many folks.

I can't believe that Christmas is around the corner! I'm trying to put together some kind of Christmas for my kids. Between my mother and father and I, the kids should get everything that they asked for and more. Times get tight in this house but i will always try and make do.

I wanted to put out my x-mas decorations on Friday but it rained alllllll day! I am hoping to get to that Sunday day or some where on Monday. This will be exciting because last year after x-mas i bought so much stuff after the holidays (really cheap) that i don't even remember what i got, but i know that there is alot.

I went Friday and got my mother's gift for Christmas, I am just hoping that she likes it! I'm pretty sure that she will. I looked everywhere for it...I knew what i wanted to get her and i finally found it. I will have to tell you what it is after the holidays, because she reads my blogs..lol

Well i will write more later..

CHRISTMAS SPIRIT OR MIRACLE?

A co-worker and I have both witnessed a miracle! Customers came into our store to return some films, while walking into the store they found a wallet! I'm not sure if they looked into the wallet or not, but they turned in to us. I guess they hoped that whoever's wallet it was belonged to one of our customers. When they handed it to me, i opened it up and saw that it was a cutomer that comes in all the time. I looked on the account and tried to call him but no answer. While putting it away i quickly checked to see if there was any money in the wallet. I was shocked to find out that there was money alright, only a couple thousand in 100 dollar bills! After I found the money in the wallet i asked Raycine if she knew who returned it, she said they returned some movies...so we quickly pulled up the account and got their phone number just in case the owner of the wallet wanted to call and thank them for turning it in, or give a reward for such a good deed! I thought i would try to call the number one more time...This time getting an answering machine, i left a message for the gentleman that i had his wallet. Just as i hung the phone up, i turned towards the door and he walked in! The wife came in, i said maam i have your wallet. I told her that a couple found the wallet and turned it in to me.

I asked her if she wanted me to call them so that she may thank them for turning in the wallet. She of course said yes. I called the house and the father of the girl said that she was not home and he gave me her cell phone number. I called her and told her that the owner of the wallet wanted to thank her. The owner of the wallet thanked her in tears! And explained how grateful she was because they had took out a loan to pay for some furniture that she was buying tomorrow. She also offered her a reward for finding it and turning it in. But the kind couple refused it, just was grateful for the thank you and glad they could do it!

They then offered me a reward for going thru so much trouble for them. I told them that i was happy to do it and was not necessary. They insisted, and left a 20 dollar bill. I took that 20 and split it with Raycine, after all if it weren't for Raycine remembering they turned in some videos, i would have never gotten the phone numbers.

Sometimes i forget that their are good, kind, descent people still out there! That's a wake up call for me!

After that a gentleman left his cell phone on the counter, I tried to find a number to call. But in the midst of doing that, he called his phone and i told him where he had left it. I waited for him to come and get it. He was very grateful that i was holding it for him.

Hope this brings some spirit to the real meaning of Christmas for ya!
God Bless!

THIS IS FOR MY BLOCKBUSTER BUDDIES!

As you all know by now i work for Blockbuster Video. Most of my crew are really awesome and I enjoy working with them on a day to day basis. My boss Paula is really nice. She will do anything she can to help you out and work with you on certain things. She is a very funny lady and i have told her that she should go on tour for a comedy show. I work with other managers, some i like and some i just don't care for. But i'm always civil to everyone.

Michelle is our ASM(assistant store manager) she really knows her job! I think she studies our SOP (store operating procedures) just for the fun of it! She is in charge of all the drama that blockbuster hands to us. And she keeps us filled in on certain duties and things that we need to know. Michelle is a very nice lady to me, but if she don't like you she is very obvious about how she feels towards you.

Now my crew, ahhhhhhhh my crew....Some of them i have very fond things to say. Raycine is a very nice lady, a mommy like me. We swap out things for eachother's children, this really helps because her daughter is growing up and Amber gets to reap the rewards of all her smaller clothing! And i do what i can to send whatever she can use her way. Raycine is a really quick learning and she is doing a really great job. I have her just the way i like her now. She is able to work on things without me telling her what to do and volunteering to do other tasks when needed.I see her moving up in the company and becoming an asset. I just have to watch out for my job...She understands that managers have alot of duties other than help customers all day. But i really have to give it to her today....She was scheduled to work till 10 but she stayed for me because she knows i was sick. I can't thank her enough! I don't know what i got but i'm really not feeling myself!

Then their is Paul, Paul is a sweetheart of a guy! There is nothing he would not do for ya. I knew he was going to move up in the company fast. He has not been working for us very long and he just became a certified manager. I will give him credit for being able to learn things fast. And i welcome him to the management team. He is hard working don't get me wrong, but if he can find the fast way out of doing things he will...I hope that changes as he will learn that his crew may do the same to him and see how frustrated he gets. I think he will do fine!

Stephanie is the next crew member that i can talk about. When she first started i was not sure how well she was going to work out. But now i can tell you that she is doing very well! She is very hard working, not just at our store, but she has another job. She is starting to catch on very quickly and knows exactly what i expect out of her. On a personal note: She deserves alot better than she has right now. She will know what i mean about that!

I would really like to add Kim to this, even tho she quit on us! Kim was a very smart and fast learner! I enjoyed talking to her and working with her! She is missed! But i hope that what she needed to get at another job is their for her.

Their are others that i work with, but these are the people that i work the most often with. And they deserve mentioning! They work their butts off for me and always go above and beyond what's expected of them.
All i have to say is Thank You, Thank You!!!

My little Princess

My little Amber was born September 26th, 1995 at 10:32 a.m. Amber weighed 8 lbs 51/2 oz. and was 19 in. long.

When I found out that i was pregnant with Amber on New Years Eve of what was going to be "95" I was awful sick all the time. I threw up all the time, not just 3 months likes most, but the whole pregnancy

Delivered by c-section by choice! Only for the sole purpose of a tubal ligation right after birth. I knew she was the last child that i would have. I had very hard pregancies, dealing with diabetes, giving myself injections and checking my blood 5 times a day, and Amber always was on my back causing severe pain. Just before going home she recieved a first shot which caused her to get a fever before we were able to leave. Landing her in baby intensive care. That was the worst time of my life! To see my little girl with ivy's in her head and feet. So Amber could not come home for the first week, which devasted me! I knew it was the shot, but the doctors could not rule that out.

Amber was immediately daddy's girl! Only because I was really busy with a 13 month old boy
so when daddy came home she was taken by her father while i was able to focus on Darin's needs.

Amber is a very very busy girl! She is more into playing, coloring, taking care of her animals, babies, stuffed animals as well as plastic animals. Ok, my daughter is an animal lover and she says that she inspires to be a vet or zookeeper. I help to keep this dream alive by actually having animals in the house. Ambers list of animals are as follows:

2 parakeets
10 austrailian cave mice (started with 3 "supposedly boys") well someone screwed up..lol
1 spiked tail frog
1 nothern frog
2 hamsters
1 hermit crab
2 red ear turtles
3 dogs! one great pyrenees, 2 chihuahaus
1 ball python
5 fish

I hope that i did not forget about any of her animals
She really takes care of them, especially her dogs!

Amber is a very outspoken child. The one thing about Amber is that she will say whatever she is thinking about, whether she will hurt your feelings or not. If she is thinking it-it will come out her mouth. This can be embarrassing at times, and i worry about what she will say next!

Amber is in the 3rd grade, and from what the teacher tells me she is doing pretty good. Reading is at grade level, writing is improving, and behavior is just fine. Math is the main thing that we need to tackle. Amber is a great person to have around if you need help with something..she is always willing to have a helping hand. She always wants to help the younger children in the neighborhood or at school. As her teacher says she is a "nuturer". You can get Amber to do most anything if you ask her for "help". Don't tell her to do anything tho! That's like talking to a brick wall!

She is a great child, she gives me a run for my money at times.. but she keeps things interesting!
I see her doing great things. But the only thing that i hope for is that BOTH of my kids are happy with anything they do!

BOY am I a PROUD mother! Or PROUD of my Boy!

Well I said that i would talk about my children later, but my son just gave me a great reason to talk about him. I just found out today that my son Darin won the D.A.R.E essay contest! He gets a prize that is probably eating at any restaurant with the officer that is in charge of the D.A.R.E. program, which is very exciting to a 10 year old. He will get some other stuff, courtesy of D.A.R.E.
He has to read his essay to the whole school on the 22nd when he graduates the D.A.R.E. program. This scares him, but i told him that we will practice every day until he feels comfortable reading the essay. I admit i did help with the essay by typing it out for him, but he wrote it and threw ideas for it. I focused on what he got out of the whole program. For him it was all about the health issues do to smoking, alcohol, and drugs.

Well that's enough of the mother bragging rights of her kid.

My son was born August 16th 1994, weighing in at a hefty 9 lbs and 11 oz. He was immediately nicknamed uncle fester, due to his bald head and chubby cheeksand big eyes. He was a really cute baby! Not really bald, but his hair was so light light blonde you could not see it...like peach fuzz. He was born c-section due to his size. When he came out...he came out screaming, the nurses went to work on him and he hosed 3 of them down right away! The nurses laughed and yelled he got 3 of us! Darin was a very easy going baby, but when he was not feeling good he loved to be walked while you patted him on his butt.

Darin works really hard at school, he is in the 5th grade now and has many friends that he likes to play with. He loves to play football outside with his friends, he also loves to stay indoors and play with his playstation 2 or his game boy advance...he is really good at games...and computers...he shows me a few things from time to time.

Darin is almost as tall as me and i'm 5'4". I think he is ranging easily 5' or 5' 1" . The last time that i took him to the well baby clinic they guessed him to grow at least 6' or 6'1' , if that is true me and his father are going to have to look up to him full grown. We might want to watch what we say to him also...lol...

Don't get me wrong about Darin he is a good boy, but he does have an evil streak to him. When he gets an itch to be mean to his sister he can be! But for the most part he is very caring towards her. He will always lend a helping hand when needed.

We just went thru some old home videos of the kids and its amazing how little and cute and some of the things that they used to say and do came flooding back. Darin used to want to play with daddy boxing, or fighting. He would climb up on daddy and pull him by the hair and say "wanna fight?" and pull him down to the ground...of course daddy always played with his baby boy! Daddy would always lose! I'm not sure if that was planned....cuz Darin can play hard! I also remember bouncy bounce on the belly.....That was my personal favorite...Darin would sit on daddy's tummy and bounce away on his stomach...I always shouted "do it again!" ...kinda sounded like the A.O.L. commercial with the kid on the computer and the dad making the frog jump on the screen saying hiya. I only remember that because it was played on our blockbuster trailer tape forever! It seems so far away ago that he was born, but yet not that far away. You forget how small they used to be.

I learn everyday something new about my kids...With Darin it is his willing to help, his personality, how humerous he can be! I'm going to take credit for that! From his Dad , i think he gets his taste for certain foods...he eats things that i would never think to eat...but his dad is that way also...But from both of us its his way of getting along with anyone that he meets.

Well that's my son in a nutshell. Next will be my loving daughter Amber.

About me and my hubby Frank :)

I was working at a mobil gas station back in "92" when some friends of some other friends of mine came in one day...I had not seen them in awhile and I asked them for a friends phone number. When i called they asked me to come over and see their new house. It was a good starter home...well i would from time to time stop by and play games and party and such, when one day another friend had come back to Michigan after going to Vermont for a visit with his mother, but he was not alone, he had brought a friend with him to visit Michigan. I was interested in him from the start, he had beautiful salt and pepper hair, that's what attracted me to him from the start. Frank is only 4 years older than me...but he explained that he had going grey since he was 18 years old. For the next couple of weeks i would find excuses to go over their house to see him. At the time i did not know that he was planning on staying in Michigan because of me. We were both telling our friends that we liked each other. He then got a job and worked there for a couple weeks and got his first paycheck. I had spent the whole night playing games and talking to him and other friends that had spent the night there, when i decided to go home and get some shut eye. While walking me to my car he leaned over and asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him. I was shocked, but not that shocked because my good friend had told me that he was. Our first date was awesome! He took me to a chinese restaurant, knowing that i liked oriental items. While there he spent all of his first paycheck on me....buying me a beautiful tea set for my collection of oriental things. We spent so much time together and under the circustances that he was living in, i begged my mother and father to let him move in with us, by surprise they said yes. Frank was hard working and did all he could to help out around the house and became close to my mother and father. After 9 months of living with me, for some reason just packed up and went back home to Vermont. To this day i have no idea why...his excuse then was that his brother was graduating and he wanted to be there. This is true...but he was suppose to come back after a week. This did not happen! Four months went by without nothing. All of a sudden, out of the blue, my friend called me and asked me to come over there was something she wanted to show me. I was leary because 2 days prior i had gotten into a fight over there and was not sure if there was some ill will over there. She told me that Frank was back and that he really wanted to see me. When i saw him i just kept asking "why?"
He could not tell me one good reason...But that he came back to be with me again. Alot of my friends think it was just to see if I was the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Because about two weeks later he proposed to me at a party that was given for our friends wedding....he was drunk, so naturally i thought yeh right! I told him "if you still feel the same ask me in the morning when your not drunk!" By the next morning he delivered the same question over again and i accepted! This was back in October of "93". I had picked our hall, our caterer, and the dj...but still had no ring. He had just started working again so i knew in time i would have one. Two weeks before Christmas my friends came to visit and brought their baby over the baby fell asleep under the Christmas tree. My mother and father were talking in the living room when they got our attention in the kitchen and said without fail "See that, that's our Christmas wish!" me and Frank looked at each other and shrugged it off....After all we were planning our wedding! By Christmas Eve i was not feeling like myself and we were about to buy some alcohol to party with for the occasion when i said to Frank "let me get a pregnancy test before we do this" I went home and straight to the bathroom i went.....after about a minute it sunk in that i WAS pregnant! I started balling right away....thinking that my wedding was ruined! I was not walking down the isle pregnant!!!! I was afraid to tell my folks ...but after walking out with Frank and my mother could see that i was crying, i had to tell them....Mom was dissapointed...only because of all the plans that was in the works....My dad...well he was tickled pink! I think he had been hoping all the while! After all the excitement of learning that i was pregnant, Frank insisted that i open my Christmas gift early, he handed me a big box, i opened it...then was another box, then yet another box....when i finally got to the last box and opened it their was my engagement ring! I was crying beyond believe! To be pregnant and officially engaged on Christmas Eve!

Our son Darin was born on August 16th, 1994. He was 9 lbs and 11 oz. and 21 inches long! born at 10:29 p.m. We were the happiest that we had ever been. That is until our wedding day!

Our wedding day was September 17th, 1994. It was beautiful! I have to say that everything went really well! I rained on that day, which is supposed to be good luck! But thank God that when it did rain we were already in buildings.

You would think that all of that would be enough...but fortunately New Years Eve of what was going to be the year of "95" I was really sick! Puking all the time....while at work, I said that i had the flu...another manager said "I think your pregnant!" I said no way! Darin was only 4 months old...and i was on something that was suppose to be better than the pill....well i shrugged him off and said i will take a test today and New Years Day i will know if your right or if i am. SURPRISE! God wanted me to had 2 right away!

Amber was born on September 26th, 1995. weighing in at 8 lbs and 5 and a half oz and 19 inches long She was born at 10:32 in the morning. She was all the way a daddy's girl because i was really busy taking care of Darin who was 13 months old when she was born and getting into everything...Darin did not like me taking care of his sister so when daddy came home guess who he had to take of.

I will talk more about my children in later blogs.

Well back to the story, we lived with my folks all the while....and about "98" is when we finally purchased our own home! We live in Warren, and making due with what we have! We love our house and we love our block, and our neighbors....

Me and Frank have been married now for 10 years this past September. We still love each other....altho i won't say that it has all been peaches and creme...but compared to other couples i have seen ....i think that we are doing awesome!!!

A ode to Paul

Coodles for Paul for taking my extra hour and letting me off early! God it feels great to be home a tad early...Thank You Thank You!!

People

Sometimes i just don't understand people. I don't understand how some people can be so cruel to others. The other day i was working and i received a phone call by some kids wanting the new game grand theft auto...they thought it would be funny to imitate arabic children and because of that, threatened to blow up our blockbusters... I'm sure that they thought it would be funny...but I sure did not!! What are parents teaching these days? I remember when i was a kid i was not able to use the phone other than to call my mom at work or friends near by. When i was a kid i did not think about playing games like those! I try my best with my kids and so far i think that i have done a pretty good job with them. I am astonished when i hear little kids swearing, and acting like they don't have any sense to them what-so-ever. I know if i ever heard my kids attempting to curse or do things that i dissaprove of i would be all over them. I can understand that some kids have bad lives. I for one am a product of a very dysfunctional family...My father did things in his past that his is not proud of...but he has changed and he is a perfect example of changing what you want to be... It was all because of alcolhol that he was the way he was ....But i also know that you can choose what you want to be...God has blessed me with a mind and i chose not to be those things that i dispised when i was younger... Yes i did go thru the teenage typical crap that any youth would go through. Trying alcohol, weed and all that ....but like everyone says you learn from your mistakes and i have! But i did not become an alcholic and i don't beat anyone unless they have hit me for some reason. It is really hard because my children can push me to a limit that i don't want to go... when that happens i get them to their rooms and take 5. If i really need a break i call my mom and have the kids spend a night or some other way of taking the edge off of a busy week, day or whatever.

I just don't understand why people don't actually listen to people...last night i had 4 phone calls at work and we always have to answer the phone like this "thank you for calling blockbuster, 11 and hoover, Caroline speaking can i help you?" Each and everytime i was called Kelly! or i was asked "is this blockbuster?" If people would just listen!!!! We have to tell you your due dates and we tell you the time they are due, before noon!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We always get they did not tell us before noon.....I just say...possibly you were not listening to us! DON'T get me started about cell phone use during checkout! That is about the rudist thing ever!!! I understand having a phone call ...but when your checking out can ya just take a second to let the phone call wait till your done? Or maybe say can i call ya back? I do! but then again i was brought up with a great mother, No matter how things were back then, she always instilled manners...God Bless Her!

Another thing, i never bothered employees that looked like they were working their butts off doing something, I always try to grab someone that looks like they need something to do.... or i never go to the beginning of a line to interupt the cashier that is helping someone else! Rude!

Sorrry just venting some frustrations...and maybe someone can use some of these pointers of manners that i have outlined!

Friends

I just got done talking to my best friend Barb, she is more than a best friend she is more like a sister to me. I miss her alot! She moved a few months ago 3 hrs away, i know that it isn't that far but to me it feels like its forever away. I used to be able to drive over in 10 minutes to go do this, that or the other thing...whenever we need to get away from kids, husbands or whatever, we would just call one another and go on a girls night out and just get away. I miss that with all my heart. Barb has always been there for me, we started off as classmates in jr. high we had the same typing class. We did not however become friends till high school, we were very close and did alot of the rebellious things that teenage girls do. It got magnified with the presense of my first car! Skipping school to go to a place called butterfly suite (a arcade) and sneeking around to different houses to drink during lunch. Those were the days! Alot of fun times were had back when we were 16. It's going on 18 years of knowing Barb and we've only had one big fight that ended our relationship...to this day i don't even know what the fight was about...and neither does she...but i think that it was the fact that she had a boyfriend at the time and me and another mutual friend did not have boyfriends...she wanted to spend all of her time with him...sounds petty now...but then it was a big deal! I'm not sure if that was it...but who cares now! Barb and i have been there for each other throughout the years...during her pregnancy's her weddings...1st and 2nd to the same man. And she for me during mine. We have been there for each other thru thick and thin...and i think that we will always be there. I always introduced her as my adopted sister. We have the relationship that i wished that i had with my real sister...but sadly that is not the case...

My family has excepted Barb as a sister to me...and hers with me!!!!! They know that we are special special friends and that i would do anything that was in reach to help her.

Now it sounds like that Barb has been my only friend...but that is not the case...I have been blessed with many friends in my life...some of which were boys....I had a really great "boy that was a friend" by the name of Gary....Gary was a great boy that grew up to be a special man. And i am honored that we still chat today. Whether it is by email or instant messanger from time to time...I miss him!!! Gary i have known longer than i have known Barb...Gary and i went to elementary school together. He was a friend of another friend of mine by the name of Charlie...that's how we met... Gary and i stayed really close throughout the years and it did not take long to figure out that i had a crush on him during high school....but we both figured out that it would not be a good idea for nothing to come of it, we would have ruined a great friendship!
I treasure that...Even after fighting with one of his old girlfriends, he did not leave my side and that was the only thing that i worried about after the fight. That he would never talk to me again. Thank God that was not so. He grew up and started working for a hospital and he made a really good life for himself in Illinois. He married and had the cutest little girl named Sophia.

I also have another "boy that is a friend" by the name of Dave I don't remember exactly how that we became friends but i am really sure that it came about thru Gary....We still have contact with eachother thru the computer even after he moved to tennessee... He is really into computers and he is who i turn to when i have problems with mine...or trying to figure out how something works. He always had a computer i can remember him having a computer in his bedroom before i even knew what a computer could do. He is a sweetheart of a guy that me and my gal pals would love to tease and shock him with different things that teenagers did back then.. He was always a great sport about those things... He has given me alot of good advice throughout the years and i am honored to be his friend and i hope that we will always be friends.

I also had a girlfiend named Jeanette back in the day....between me and Barb and Jeanette we were pistols! Always never in school, I would take them to school and i would say i am going back home to bed...they would say if your not going ...i'm not going...so instead of going to bed we would always scronge for money to go to the butterfly suite. At one point in time she was kicked out of her house for some reason and my mother and father gave her a break and let her move into out house...it was great for awhile and we were really close...we both had boyfriends and would go out alot with them. We stayed in touch for awhile but sadly we lost touch! i miss her...she was always very hyper...the last i heard she had alot of medical problems and God i hope that all is well with her today...I hope that we can someday regain that friendship back!

I've been thru alot in my life and the one thing that i can honestly say is that i always had and have great friends that i can depend on! Most of which have never let me down....
and on that note i will leave this...hoping that my friendship means as much to them as theirs means to me!!!!!!!!!