Monday, November 29, 2004

WHY?

On Thanksgiving day we got up early to go to the parade downtown, the parade was excellent! It get better every year. After the parade we rushed over to my mothers to help with dinner, when we got there my mother was sleeping. When she realized we were there she got up and went to the kitchen to help with the fixings. She did not act right or sound like my mother, but she said that she was tired. Me and my husband finished preparing dinner and my mother went back to relax.
I kept asking her if she was alright, she would just say i am tired. I just figured she was coming down with something, especially after she threw up her dinner. Thursday came and went and i let my mother sleep. Friday i called her and she sounded better than she had, but she still was sleeping the day away. I went over and felt her forehead, she did have a fever. So i took it as the flu, seeing how she threw up the day before, made her take some aspirins and sent her off to bed. Saturday i had the day off work and i told myself that when i woke up i was going over to her house and if i did not like what i saw she was going to the doctors. Wouldn't you know that she called me before i even woke up and asked me to take her to the doctors. The doctor went back and forth about sending her to the hospital, but i pretty much made his mind up for him. I told him that she is not right and there is something wrong and i would rather not have to wait a few days to find out what was wrong.
So off to emergency we went and in a very short time we found out that she has a severe urinary tract infection that was causing her fever. But some other stuff they found out was that because she was sick she was still taking her pills and she was not eating which made her sugar drop to 30. I overheard a nurse that usually at 30 most patients go into a diabetic coma. That scared me to death! But what scared me more is the way she has been breathing. If i had to attempt to breath like her i would hyper ventalate! She was admitted to the hospital on Saturday and on Sunday i called her to see if everything was fine. She assured me everything was fine, so i went off and did some things around my house and spent some time with my kids because i had been gone the whole day at the hospital on my day off.
Well today Monday, i dropped off my kids to school and went straight to the room i had left her only to find out that they moved her during the night. I thought this was a good thing till i got on the floor and they said that she was in the ICU of the hospital due to her breathing had gotten worse and she was struggling for air. When i seen her it was too scary for words! She was still struggling for a breath. She looked at me like she did not want to take this anymore. I just tried to reassure her everything would be fine.
The doctors came in and said that they took a chest xray and that she has chronic emphasyma and that they were going to play with her breathing treatments till they found something that works. When i left to check out my household and feed the kids, also to go and have a good cry from what i had saw. I couldn't cry in front of her like things were hopeless. When i got back later in the evening I found her in better spirits. She was still struggling with breathing but not as bad. I am hoping that even better news will follow! I am hoping that tomorrow will bring her back to talking again!
I love my mother with all my heart and the thought of losing her is killing me! Three times in one year we have had one thing after another happen with my mother. Last July she was diagnosed with flesh eating disease in her private area. Then her stroke in May of this year. And now this!
My mother does not deserve what is happening to her! She is the sweetest, kindest, would help you with anything in her reach kind of woman! My mother has done many things to help me and my sister when we needed it! I just want to know WHY, WHY HER? I bet there is many people out there that ask the same question when trials and tribulations happen in there family!
I know i have written about my heart attack and what other trials i went thru during that month. Is there anyone out there that has gone thru such turmoil that would like to share? And how did you get thru it?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Caroline, The problems with face with an older parent seem overwhelming but we all go through it if we love them. I'm Cindyism's mom and also have been diagnosed with emphasyma. Being almost 70 years old I have lost both my parents and one husband also. The prospect of coping without any of them was hard to bear so I can understand your feelings. But if love is the healing power I know your Mom will feel better soon. When you see her tell her 'Momma of Momma's Corner' is thinking of her and wishing for a speedy recovery. You take care of youself also because your Mom needs to know you are there!